All I Wanted Was a Box of Cheez-Its

While wandering WalMart for a container to use for goat food, I decided to pick up a box of Cheez-Its to keep in my desk at work. A small handful with a couple of drops of Tabasco sauce on them makes a really great snack every now and then.

So I went down the food aisle and found… the ultimate end-cap of Cheez-Its. The hard part was to find regular Cheez-Its. They had them in white cheddar, cheddar jack, large sized, low-fat and Tabasco flavored (I know, I know… I was doing this before they came out with them and I prefer to put it on myself).

So when I finally found regular, plain old Cheez-Its, I had the choice of… the “Sponge Bob Squarepants” box or the “Star Wars Episode III with C3PO” box.

(Which do you prefer, Joe? To be set on fire or to be dunked in a tank of astringent after being rolled down a mountain of broken glass?)

Ultimately, I took the Star Wars box. It was bigger and priced the same as the Sponge Bob box, and I wouldn’t have to suffer the indignity of eating Sponge Bob shaped Cheez-Its. At least, that’s what I think they were. Why bother, otherwise?

It made me want to go back to Cheese Nips, which I grew up on. But Cheese Nips don’t have one flat side like Cheez-Its do. This is crucial in making sure you don’t end up with Tabasco spots on your shirt.

Cheese Louise.

Meantime, I had a wicked notion that involved and/news and the idea for a parallel novel that took place at roughly the same time. What if the precipitating event for the new novel is Richard’s disappearance (which is covered in and/news)? And what if this story covered what happens in the newsroom after he disappears, and when they find out he is involved in what looks like a kidnapping and murder? And what if, instead of making this a separate novel, I just wrote it into the existing manuscript – which, by the time I covered the initial disappearance, would more than double in size.

Sounds like a fat lot of work to me. But it could be an epic, too. I don’t know. So much easier to do something else.

Quiet, please. I’m thinking.

Listening: BeBop Deluxe, Drastic Plastic (via iPod Shuffle)


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