Joe Clifford Faust | Novels & Writing

Haiku's Inventor
Did not forsee such odd things
He rolls in his grave

Changed his mind again
Yet another one-eighty
Back where he started

When there is success
It's their genius, and if not
Blame the agency

Fill us with wisdom,
O client, pontificate
how you know it all

Says that his nephew
Who took this class in college
Could do it better

You need a third eye
Our fashion models imply
You need the X-10

Online casinos
Now you can lose everything
Privately at home

A larger penis
Is yours in a few short days
Use it wisely, please

My name is Bambi
My friends and I put on shows
I accept credit cards

It's not your fault
Your debt is out of control
We can bring release

Why pay more for it?
Viagara or Ritalin
Buy what turns your crank

Unbelievable!
To offer it at this price
We must be insane

Of all the teen sluts
Ours are the youngest by far
But they're still legal

You have a great need
And we have money to burn
Looks like we should talk

What a great country
Twelve CD's for one dollar
The choices all suck

Our deal is unique
Investments like this don't lie
Open your wallet

FDA approved
What does the government know?
Prescriptionless buy

Two hundred biz cards
Are free to you except for
A lifetime of spam

I like marry you
I give love, happiness too
Till I get green card

Dear Amy Jason,
Your name is used quite in vein
To sell useless things

Are you a real man
We think you know what we mean
Use it or lose it

Buy our product and
After the last cigarette
You will still be going

Fresh is pure and black
Have you checked your copier?
We have the toner

Thirty spams daily
I watch them fill my inbox
Where are all my friends?

You deserve credit
We put fresh debt in your hand
Just pay the interest

Are they the real stars
Or are they just clever fakes?
Who cares? They're naked!

Our deal is better
Than others you've seen today
Buy our wireless

So incredible
A company as big as Sears
Would stoop to send spam

Though my country's poor
I promise to send millions
If you send thousands

sadly, accepting
the free Star Wars video
implies I want one

Odd Haikus